Is There True Love Without Sex?

Learn from my Story...

I am a 300 level student of Mass Communication in Benue Start University. The reason I am asking whether there is true love without sex is because of the experience I had recently. When I was about to leave home for school, my mother really warned me about boys and keeping bad friends. In my 100 level, I met this guy who showered so much love and attention on me; he was caring and understanding.

My Boyfriend

By the time he finally toasted me, I had developed so much trust in him that I did not waste time to accept his love advances. He said he loved me so much that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. It took another whole semester for him to start asking for sex but I told him I was not ready for that kind of thing. He started putting pressure on me and saying that he has proved to me that he was not the kind of boys who enter into relationship just because of sex and that I should consider how long it took for him to begin to ask for sex.

My Girlfriends advised me

When the pressure became too much, I confided in the three close friends I have. Two of them said they did not see anything wrong in having sex with him because he has been so patient and other boys will not wait as long as he has waited to begin to demand for sex. However, my third friend warned me that I will be making the greatest mistake of my life because pre-marital sex takes away someone's dignity and self esteem little by little and drag one very far from God.

Should I say yes or should I say no?

My boyfriend's attitude towards me started changing; he got another girlfriend and was using her to make me jealous. I really loved this guy because he was matured and understanding and I did not want to lose him. So I decided that if sex will be the only thing to make our relationship strong, I will go ahead and do it.

Sex, Shame and Guilt

On one fateful day during the second semester of my 200 level, I visited my boyfriend in his apartment outside the campus. He started demanding for sex as usual. He accused me of cheating on him and said that the only way I can prove to him that I was not seeing another guy was for me to have sex with him. So we finally had sex. I felt so sad, guilty and dirty. My conscience condemned me. Though I was not a very strong Christian, I never knew that one day I will become a fornicator also.

Getting used to Sin

The two friends that encouraged me to have sex with my boyfriend told me not to worry about the guilty conscience that soon I will get used to it. Sex became a very regular activity in our relationship and the guilty conscience that usually troubled me disappeared. The sexual sin that I promised never to commit became a part of my lifestyle. I always insisted in the use of condom because I was not ready to add abortion to the list of my sins. The relationship between I and my boyfriend became normal because the sex that used to be a point of disagreement between us was no longer an issue.

Does he really Love me?

One day I met a Christian man on campus who shared the word of God with me. He said that sex outside marriage is still fornication as long as God is concerned. Another thing he said that really touched my heart, was when he said that all the times I allowed my boyfriend undressed me and climbed on top of me, God who sees everything done in secret was seeing me. He told me that my boyfriend did not really love me but was only committed to me because I was giving him sex. When he said this, I doubted in my mind because I was very sure that this guy loves me. The man said we should put it to test and see if my boyfriend will continue to shower me with love if I stop having sex with him.

The test of love

After the man spoke to me, I realized how far I had wondered away from God. The same fornication that was stinking to me before, I was now deep into it and enjoying the smell. I suggested and pleaded with my boyfriend that we stop having sex and continue to be lovers but he refused and told me that he cannot guarantee me love if sex was not part of the relationship. After several attempts to persuade him failed, I told him that if he is ready for us to be lovers without sex, I will be very happy but if he thinks that without sex our love cannot continue, then he should move on, it's almost a year now; he has not called me nor bordered to find out how I am doing in school.

I cried for a long time, my heart was broken. I was so disappointed that this boy that said he loved me so much could abandon me just because I did not want to continue having sex with him.

I will arise and return to my Father and say; Father I have sinned against you

After my boyfriend made that no sex; no love declaration; I realized that it is only in Jesus Christ that one can find true love. Like the prodigal son; I went to God in confession and repentance. I have learnt my bitter lesson from boys; I wished I had listened to my mother's warning. They say experience is the best teacher but I don't want you to make the same mistake I made before you learn your own bitter lesson. Please learn from my story and avoid the stupid mistake I made.

Are you in a relationship that sex has polluted? Would you want to go to hell just because of sex? Today is your freedom day. It is because of your deliverance that Jesus Christ came so that he can destroy the chain of fornication that the devil has used to tie you down. All you need to do to be set free and forgiven is to:

1. Acknowledge that sex before marriage is fornication and that you have sinned against God. If we say we have no sin, we are telling lies (I John 1:7).

2. Confess and forsake your sins. Prove to God that you are truly sorry by stopping sex until you are married. Only confession is not enough, follow your confession with repentance by forsaking your sins (Proverbs 28:13).

3. Invite Jesus Christ into your life. He is knocking on the door of your heart right now, let him in.

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THANK YOU AND REMAIN BLESSED!!!