My love life and I interview section team, with a political law student and human right activist, Tomiwa Fadeyi.

Like we always says. "Sharing is just one of the best way to solve problems in relationships as well as life and career issues," so MY LOVE LIFE AND I, as a nongovernmental Origination as always been in place to motivate people towards achieving quality and good relationships as well as marriages..... We set up this team over a year ago. Team leaded by ADEDARA ADESOLA OLUWAFEMI VICTOR also known as SHOLLYWORLD. He set up the "interview team" with the Aims and objectives to achieve quality and good relationships as well as marriage for all the Readers of the blog and in all our media platforms. 

He has achieved over 75% of is Aims and objectives doing this. If you love to Share your experience with our team call or whatsapp Shollyworld with this number +2347030582692. Comment your numbers below this post or send us email-mylovelifeandi@gmail.com we answer all queries and comments immediately.

Tomiwa FADEYI is unarguably one of the brightest youths in the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Famous Student Politician, Prolific Writer and Public Speaker, FADEYI has successfully carved a niche for himself in a very short time.

Only this year, FADEYI's shelf has been bombarded with awards of different kinds, including the "Student Political Icon" award, courtesy of the All Nigerian Universities Crest Award; The "Personality of the Year" award from Adeleke University's Chapter of the Law Students Association of Nigeria; The "Most Eloquent Student" by J-KRUE International, and a "Presidential Merit Award" from the Presidency of Adeleke University Students' Association.

But that is not the interesting thing today. This career driven workaholic has butterflies in his stomach. In this exclusive interview with Adesola Adedara of "My Love Life and I", he reveals very surprising things about his relationship and love life, including how he copes, and trying to balance his relationship with his many engagements, leaving us in awe.

1. Can you please introduce yourself to us?

My name is Tomiwa FADEYI, a native of Isanlu-Isin, Kwara State. I am a Student Politician, Writer and Public Speaker. I am currently studying law at the prestigious Adeleke University, Ede, and I am Director of Media and Protocols of the Students' Association.

2. Are you currently in a relationship, or is there someone you love deeply? 

Errrrm... As it stands presently, I am in love o. And I'm in a relationship too. They are two different things, really, but it's positive on both ends.

3. How long have you been in this relationship? 

About three years down the line already. Of course, we were friends initially, and then something happened. That "something" is what led to the love relationship we have since maintained.

4. We know you to be a renown student politician, prolific writer and  public speaker. How do you combine all of these with your relationship? 

Well, my relationship doesn't disturb in any way. You know, love is an unexpungable part of every person's life, and we must realize that it comes first, before anything. The relationship is going fine, and my career isn't doing badly at all. It's more about knowing what you're doing. I'm blessed with someone who understands the things I'm into, as is always ready to assist. That's why I advise young men not to be scared of being in relationships with intelligentsias. Being a very brilliant person, my girlfriend assists tremendously with my political life and my academics, even as she balances her own life commendably. So, the relationship so far has made me better. The relationship compliments all of my life.

5. Briefly, can you tell us how you met your present lover, and a bit or your past and present love life?

Woww. That's a really long story, but I'll try as much as possible to make it very brief. When I resumed into Adeleke University as a direct entry student, I came in with the notion that I was just going to remain single. I always joke with friends that I cannot allow someone break my heart anyhow because I have a plastic heart. I met this damsel a day after resumption, I think, when we were struggling to do our registrations for the academic session. She was with her friend, Deborah, also a very beautiful girl, and I just had my heart melt when I saw her. I just loved all that she portrayed. She exuded a high level of confidence that got me on my toes. Yet, she wasn't lousy in any way. So calm and calculated. I just made up my mind jare. No time to check time. But I knew I wasn't ready to date. I just wanted to be good friends and register my name in her mind or something. So I got close to the duo, and if you know me, you'll know it doesn't take me anything to strike a discussion. But I didn't feel happy because as much as I tried talking to her, it was just her friend that kept talking. The girl was just so quiet and I felt she probably didn't want to talk. That day, I didn't even go away with her correct name. You know how Edo names are na.

Time went by very quickly and surprisingly, I never saw her again until three weeks later, when I discovered she was in my class too. In my mind like that o, mission accomplished. I went about smiling like a clown so that she'll at least think I was handsome and everything. Mhen, I played myself. You could imagine how devastated I felt when I heard she was dating someone else. I just gave up and started facing my studies.

But you know the way love is, no matter how far away you are, true love will always find you. The onus now rests solely on you to open all of your heart to it. Time went by, and a few girls came on to like me, two particularly, final year students, but I wasn't just feeling it, so I didn't make the mistake of asking them out. Somehow, Somehow, I became close to my crush again and we got talking. We became so close everybody thought we were dating. On my part, I dreaded that, because I knew it'd be dicey if in the end, she didn't say yes. We had to put a whole lot behind us. I went through a tough process of changing. I knew I needed to adjust on some many things, if I really wanted her. I was so scared. I felt I wasn't good enough. I wondered what'll happen if she eventually didn't agree. But that wasn't the real fear. I feared for the future of the relationship. I wanted it to work, but I was in doubt. Three to Four months after, on the 28th of January, we began a journey that can only be described as God-ordained.

My love life in the past wasn't at all eventful. Had two relationships in the past, when I was much younger. They weren't mistakes at all, because I usually don't jump into decisions. But I regret many of the things that happened. The past is forgotten anyway. I've learnt from it. At a point, when I had a minor problem with my girlfriend, I called one of my ex-girlfriends and asked her what about me she didn't like. She told me directly and I admitted. I used that to adjust, so I won't give my relationship problems.

6. It is true, according to research that the rate of failed relationships and marriages is currently on the high side. What do you think lovers are not doing right? 

Well, there's a lot we all are doing wrongly in terms of relationships. Both marriage and courtship. I always agree when people tell me trust is a major factor in any relationship, but before trust, there must be loyalty. I can't trust a woman who isn't loyal to me. Trust doesn't fall from the sky. You must give me a reason to trust you.

Also, from experience, I know communication is key. Even in mere friendships, you need to speak out. Talk out your grievances. Thrash them out. When you bottle things inside of you, you'll explode one day, and it becomes war. When you discuss, you get to know each other better, and that goes a long way. Me I know I'm a very jealous person. (Laughs). Say anything o, I like it like that. My girlfriend knows it's because I don't want to lose her, and she knows how to totori me. Just the assurances in words and deeds.

Knowing each other and being patient goes a long way. Everything is not love and kiss. I've annoyed my girlfriend in such a way that I know her decision to stay with me is slightly beyond love. Be committed, too. Understand the love language of your partner and speak it at all times. Love is a fire, Lust is a fire too. But love must be ignited, and that's where commitment comes in.

7. Considering the fact that you're a high profile individual, who is blessed with handsomeness and charm, what is that attribute that your was exhibited by your present girlfriend, to steal your heart? 

Handsomeness and charm kwa? You people are deceiving me o. Me that they used to tell me I have trailer head in junior secondary school. On a more serious note, anyway, it's difficult to exactly point out an attribute that attracted me to her. She's just an embodiment of all that a woman of virtue should be. Everything about her, in the real sense of it, was what attracted me to her, and what has kept us together.

8. For sometime, you have taken the front in the steers of feminism and women rights, which is almost strange as a man. How did this happen and can you clear the air about that? 

You see, feminism is an aspect of life which must be properly understood. Being a feminist doesn't make you anti-male, therefore, it shouldn't be strange at all that as a man, I am actively involved in promoting the ideal of feminism and women rights. My girlfriend is one of Nigeria's staunchest protagonist in the temple of feminism, and she has opened my eyes to a whole new world in that aspect. It is only painful that many people do not even understand what feminism is all about, and they go around making noise and blabbing the wrong things.
My own idea of feminism is to raise women from the miry clay. To empower the oppressed. To expunge the stigma. To do away with stupid, archaic, barbaric, crude traditions that humiliate our most valuable assets called women.

Thousands of young girls are being trafficked every month for prostitution outside the country. Those are our future wives. We must work together to stop that act of malady. That is feminism.

A thousand female children roam about the streets hawking helplessly everyday. We drive past them and roll up our car windows. From hawking, there is a medium to molest those kids. Why not expose these hawkers to quality education that our kids get. Why not build a future for them?

Where is the old time religion of "train a woman, train a nation"?

Some women get battered everyday by senseless animals they call husbands. They want to speak but they cannot. Day after day, they are abused and it takes a major toll on their health. Why am I a Feminist-Lawyer if I can't be their voice? If I can't speak for them? If I can't rescue them?

Research shows that women are more involved in vocational jobs than their male counterparts. Whatever happened to empowerment? Why not empower these women, old and young, in such a way that they are able to live, to a reasonable extent, without their male counterparts. Only then can we achieve true feminism, because only an empowered woman can stand up to a man and speak.

Almost 2000 days of the Boko Haram abduction of our girls in Chibok, and no one, except Aishat Yesufu and Oby Ezekwesili are still talking and fighting and pushing hard about this. Some people have even forgotten that some girls were abducted in 2014. Oh. I get it... Those ones are not entitled to feminism bah? It's only the Nollywood actresses who get divorced that draw all the attention for feminism? Feminism has just become useless, then.

The fight for feminism is widely misdirected. Misfired, infact. We should all know that this is not a fight against men. No. It's rather a movement for the rights of the womenfolk. A woman cheated on her husband the third time, the husband asked her to leave his house, and go and live with the guy she's cheating on him with. This woman, to my surprise, begin chanting war songs and started invoking the gods of feminism. Ah Han! Cheating on your spouse should be a thing of shame on anybody. How has it become a thing of pride? It should be unheard of.

I am male, yet a feminist.
I stand with the girls and the women of our world today, because they are the future we have!

9. Going by the news of the LAWSAN AU elections which you contested and lost, some persons blamed it on your inability to manage relationships alongside political office. How true is this? 

Honestly speaking, I do not like to talk about this, so I'll be really brief and concise. Any proper thinking individual will see that there's no logic in that premise, really. I lost that election down by nine votes and I have no regrets. I offered myself for public service, stretching out my arms with a collective rescue mission. That I was disappointingly turned down doesn't mean I'm not good enough. Politics can be funny.

All my life, I've kept relationships. I've been friends and partners with a whole lot of individuals inside and outside the country, and I've held positions at the same time. In all the positions I have held, and by the special grace of God, I've been commended.

As a politician, and you'll agree with me, keeping contacts is one of the most important aspect of your life. How do you change the world if your relationship circle is weak? If you can't foster healthy relationships under your nose, how do you affect the world?

What I've learnt is that people will always, no matter how good you are or try to be, find a reason to detract you. Just forget it.

10. You are one of the young people who talked and preached hard in support of the #NotTooYoungToRun campaign. Do you think your girlfriend will support your ambition, if any comes up, to run for office at a tender age? 

First and foremost, I didn't go all the way preaching and supporting the #NotTooYoungToRun movement because I have it in mind to contest an election anytime soon. I'm not even thirty yet. But it is very important in any relationship that your partner keys into your vision and supports you wholeheartedly when you're right.

Before taking any major decision, after consulting God Almighty, I turn to my girlfriend and ask her; "Eyeballs, what do you think about this." Because she watches out for my interest, she gives me the best advice she can, and we work towards achieving it.

Once, I had options to contest on two platforms, one position significantly higher than the other. She probably saw me instinctively tilting towards the higher office, and she called me back. "Start from here, she said. Your people need you more here, than they do at AUSA level. Do grassroots first." My respect for her increased ever since. I didn't regret following her advice.

I'm sure if eventually, there's any need for me to contest for office, she'll support me. If there's a need for her to do the same, I'll happily support her too. It's a relationship, that's what it's all about. We must help each other get better.

11. What is your greatest fear as far as this relationship is concerned? 

Mhen, that's a tough one there. Frankly, all of my life, I'm this relationship, I've dreaded losing all that we have. I've feared greatly, the prospect of ending the relationship, and I don't lie about it. When things look bad, I tell her how much I love her and how I don't want to lose her. Not to anyone. Not at all.

Truly, sometimes, we fear the inevitable.

12. What is your advice to people in relationships at the moment, including both facing tough times and the ones having happy moments? 

Honestly speaking, there's no perfect relationship.
Please fight hard for your relationship, but only if you love your partner deeply. Only if you believe in the relationship itself. You'll get discouraged, you'll get angry. Don't let minor setbacks sway you.

I've seen so much travails in my relationship. I've witnessed pain and anger. I've disappointed myself. I've so many times, ended my day with tears and started the day with so much sorrow. But through it all, somehow, we just get to work things out and be fine again. I won't stop believing in my relationship until the very end.

Let me just add this, pride is the fastest way to ruin a relationship. Even if you're proud to everyone else, lay low in the presence of your partner. Drop those shoulder pads and be humble. Don't offend your partner and behave like you've done nothing, because you feel you're indispensable. Even when (S)he is annoyed, still speak those words he wants to hear. It'll go a long way. Some people are fond of damning their partners because "they'll always come back." Because of a little fight, they'll ignore their partners, and then stop all the "I love you" they say every night. If you really love the relationship and the partner, stop it. It's dangerous, especially if your partner is emotional. You just might be toying with someone's life.
The LCM of everything is, I advice you... Let your partner be your strength and your weakness. Yes. Your strength in that (s)he is a source of inspiration and power to you. Be happy every time you see or hear from her. Your weakness in that they can melt you. Even when you're angry, they should be the ones to be able to talk you into some things. Give them that respect of having your mumu button. Don't behave the same way you behave to everyone, to them. They are different, and must feel that way.

Love is a beautiful, beautiful, thing.

13. If you were given a chance to go back in time to when you met your girlfriend, would you still pick her over all others?

Ngwa, first and foremost, there are no "all others". But sincerely, if I could turn back the hands of time, there are a lot of things I'd change. So many decisions I wouldn't make. I'd not only choose Eyeballs over again, I'd correct all of the wrongs I've done against her. I'd wipe all of the tears I caused her. I'd not put her through all of those difficult times.

I'd show her the redefinition of love. I'd give her a new first impression. If I could, I'd show her a brand new Tomiwa FADEYI.

Thanks for coming Mr Fadeyi. God bless!!!